Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Dear God, Please Don't Let My Children be "Normal"

The impetus for this blog entry might seem bizarre to many of you.  But anyone who is familiar with my convoluted, bizarre train of thought will see that it makes perfect "sense" in my weird, conscious mind.  I was emailed prom pictures of my niece.  They took my breath away.  She was so beautiful and so grown-up.  (Sniff!)  I remember the moment sixteen years ago when I first laid my eyes on her as such a tiny newborn.  (Sniff! Where does the time go?  BIG SIGH!)  What a remarkable job she is doing of finding her way through the quagmire of becoming an adult.  Some of the other girls in the pictures, while looking pretty, were dressed inappropriately-- like little girls playing dress-up.  Sixteen year old girls look ridiculous when they are dressed as if they are costumed for Dancing with the Stars.  The pressures to fit-in and "be cool" can be oppressive.  I was so glad that my niece looked stunning while still being appropriate for her age.

Shortly thereafter, I was reading a blog entry Why are Homeschooled Kids so Annoying?  The final line of this blog really struck me.  The final remark as to why homeschooled kids are so annoying was, "Because no one tells them that the way God made them isn't cool enough."  I found that quite profound, especially when considering the peer pressures that are exerted on our children as they attempt to grow into maturity.


Do we want our children to be just like everyone else?  Or do we want them to be unique individuals?

I want my children to be as individual as their own fingerprints.  When the kids were toddlers, they wanted ice cream for every meal and Christmas everyday.  (To be honest, my son would still love to have chocolate ice cream every day, all day long.)  We used the video Elmo Saves Christmas to try and explain to the kids why something that is "special" is no longer "special" once it is daily or commonplace.

I have been telling my children for years that being "weird" is a good thing. How boring to be just like everyone else!  What a waste of God's beautiful creation to hide your unique self and become just like everyone else.  Really, do we want to be insulting the Big Guy and snubbing His hard work?

I have a little assignment for you.  Look up the word "Normal" in the thesaurus and think of the connotations of the words that you will find.  Is this your aspiration for your child?

average, commonplace, normal, typical, ordinary, run-of-the-mill, standard, unexceptional, unremarkable, usual, conventional, expected, predictable, common, customary, cut-and-dry, garden variety, everyday, familiar, plain, popular, habitual, trivial, 

Part Two of your little assignment is to look up "Quirky" in the thesaurus. Would you prefer that people use these words to describe your child?  Maybe not, but I sure would.  But most of all, I know that I would greatly prefer for my children to describe themselves with the words listed below as opposed to words of "normalcy."  I guess I have always had a bit of a rebellious streak...

eccentric, weird, individual, march to the beat of your own drum, nonconformist, unconventional, perplexing, outlandish, outstanding, outrageous, unorthodox, prominent, unique, singular, unprecedented, unparalleled

I hope that I will raise children with enough chutzpah to avoid the "group think" mentality.  In a world that increasingly demands creativity and the ability to think in order to innovate and be successful, why do we persist, as a society, to make conformists?

Why do we blindly follow others and doubt ourselves and our own convictions?  This kind of "socialization"  I can do without.  I do not want to raise lemmings.

I believe that tonight, and every night thereafter, I will be praying the following:
Dear God, Please don't let my children settle for being "Normal." Grant them the courage to be the unique individuals You created them to be.  Amen.


9 comments:

  1. I love your prayer, and yes, "abnormality" is one of the reasons we homeschool! My kids are decidedly quirky, and I intend to keep it that way, because their quirks are what make them so delightful (well, and sometimes annoying, but never commonplace or unremarkable)!

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    1. Thank you very much. If you talked to my parents or sister, they would probably say I am well beyond quirky. My mom would often say that I was "certainly an individual." Not too sure that she always meant it as a compliment. I guess it depended on how much gray hair I was giving her at the moment. I am so proud that my kids (thus far) are very much "their own person." (However there are certainly days when I would much prefer a little less of "their own person" and a little more of "because Mommy said so.") Hopefully as they mature, they can become "unparalleled." Who wouldn't want that?

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  2. I love this post. Also, one of the reasons why I love homeschooling. It allows my child to be herself without anyone telling her she isn't cool enough. She can think her own thoughts and do the things she enjoys without feeling the need to conform to a crowd mentality.

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    1. I really appreciate your support. Thank you. Just before we began homeschooling, my daughter was experiencing the beginnings of the "girl cattiness" and cliques that seems to plague preteens and adolescents. I was really proud of how she stood up for herself and her friends. I certainly hope that one of the "perks" of homeschooling will be that my kids get the chance to develop the self-confidence necessary to choose their own paths, rather than following "the pack." I can't imagine how different my personality would have been during the teen years, if "what other people thought" hadn't been an such a large factor.

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    1. I hate to say this but...this is exactly why I am going to homeschool my rising 6th grader. I watch her interact with school peers and I see and hear things that are not pleasing; things that she knows I do not approve of. Although we are not homeschooling for religious reasons per se, I do plan to incorporate spirituality and prayer into our daily routine.

      Great post and I look forward to reading more!

      Monise

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  4. Thanks! Religion was not a factor in our decision to homeschool. We based our decision on purely "education" reasons. Yet I do teach religion to the children and we do pray. Our secular HSing decision process has affected our ability to "socialize" somewhat because many activities/co-ops etc. want you to sign a "Statement of Faith." These can make me squirm a bit and feel uncomfortable. Fervent and devout are not words to describe our family, we are bit more laid back and quiet about religion.

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  5. Wow! I love the way you compared the two groups of words... make normal look as distasteful as it really is. I am LINKING to this right now!

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  6. Normal is so boring and sadly overrated. I think we sell ourselves and our children short if "normal" is the goal. Personally I would like to strive for "unprecedented" and "unparalleled." At least life wouldn't be predictable...

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