Saturday, March 26, 2011

Things A Mother Shouldn't Have to Say

Every mom has those moments when she wonders what in the world she was thinking when she decided she wanted children.  Usually those moments resemble the "Calgon moments" from that old commercial-- doorbell ringing, phone ringing, baby crying, dog barking, smoke coming from the oven and the other kids are fighting.  Crazy times are to be expected.  But what is not to be expected are some of the crazy things we say as mothers.  Things no mother should have to say.

About a year ago I was on the phone with my mother.  The circumstances surrounding the incident have grown fuzzy, but I still remember verbatim what I said and my innocent, sweet child's response.  No mother should have to say, "Get your face out of the toilet!"  To which the reply was, "But Mom, I'm not getting wet."  Are you kidding me?  Apparently, not.

Having thrown up everyday of my pregnancy since the golden moment when morning sickness first arrived (at 5 weeks with this particular child) I have had the opportunity to examine intimately more than my fair share of toilets. The greatest bit of wisdom that I gleaned from this unpleasant experience is simple.  Toilets are disgusting and the last place you want to be putting your face unless you have absolutely no other choice.  Yet here is my mini-Education Explorer trying to discover the fascinating realm of the toilet up close and personal.

What possible relevance does this story have to the whole homeschool adventure that we are getting ready to start?  Well, at the Homeschool Convention we recently attended, my husband and I went to seminar after seminar to try to get a handle on this new life about which we were to embark. One of the sessions was entitled, "Help! How Do I Teach this Highly Distractible Child" by Carol Barnier.  Based on my earlier scenario, you can well imagine that we had no intention of missing this session.  Carol Barnier delightful relayed extremely helpful techniques to use when teaching children who are easily distracted and have minuscule attention spans.  She employs one of my favorite tools for getting through life, an amazing sense of humor. The title of her book should give you a hint of her speaking style, How to Get Your Child off the Refrigerator and on to Learning   (

Something that particularly resonated with me was her anecdote about a contest that she had on her blog back in September 2010.  She dubbed it, "I Never Thought I Would Say THAT!"  I have included the link so you can see the contest results for yourself.  ( To hear Carol mention some of the hilarious things other parents have had to say was quite reassuring (Like, "Spit your brother's tooth back out and give it back to him.")  I learned that I am not alone living in Bizarro World like I thought.

We had the opportunity to share our, "Get your face out of the toilet!" anecdote with Carol after her session.  She certainly got a good laugh out of it.  If misery loves company, I guess then, "Insanity loves Camaraderie." It is nice to know that I have lots of Mommy Comrades out there too.

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